Incorporating Mindfulness into Daily Life

One of the questions I get asked the most about mindfulness is how to transition the practice of meditation into application in daily life. People often report that even when they make time to sit and meditate on a somewhat regular basis they have difficulty connecting that practice with their everyday life experiences.

In order to fully benefit from a meditation practice we must not only go through the motions of sitting on the mat and/or doing a guided practice, but also make the effort to learn about meditation and reflect on the practice. It’s the difference between knowing what a hammer is and understanding when and how to effectively use a hammer to build a birdhouse. Unfortunately, the more that a principle or practice becomes commodified the harder it is to trace it back to its roots and the more it becomes about the rote repetition of a task. It is vitally important to ask ourselves why we come back to practice and how that practice affects us.

The most important aspects of meditation and mindfulness are not about clearing your mind or focusing on your breath, but about the underlying principles that create the foundation of why and how we practice. Mindfulness and meditation are not about being comfortable, relaxed, or at peace with the world, though those things can certainly be auxiliary benefits of a practice. Instead, meditation is an open invitation to build compassion, non-judgement, and radical acceptance of discomfort. The discomfort may be around parts of ourselves or others that we dislike, or aspects of the world and our experience in it that are not to our liking.

A truly mindful way of being requires ongoing work, it is never complete, and it is always evolving. It requires us to build a routine around checking in with ourselves consistently. A mindful life requires us to incorporate and practice the following principles:

• Non-judging: shifting out of the evaluation of experiences based on our likes, dislikes, and personal biases.

• Non-striving: shifting out of goal-oriented behavior in order to allow an experience to unfold.

• Acceptance: accepting each moment and experience exactly as it is rather than how we wish it would be or fear it might be.

• Curiosity: bringing a beginner’s mind to each experience, slowing down, and allowing ourselves to fully be present in what is happening rather than moving through on autopilot.

• Non-attachment: allowing ourselves to let go of clinging to a particular goal, outcome, fear, or experience. Acknowledging at every experience is finite.

• Compassion: genuine compassion for our own and other people’s lived experiences rooted in shared connection and humanity.

• Patience: willingness to dedicate as much time as it takes without rushing to a goal or end point in an experience.

All these principles create the underpinning of mindfulness and meditation. They are also deceptively challenging to practice because they require letting go of our ego, need to succeed, and inherent bias. There is no mastery in mindfulness, only ongoing practice.

If you’d like to practice and learn more I recommend checking out the writings of Pema Chodron, Thich Nhat Hanh, or Jon Kabat-Zinn. If you’d like to learn more about how to incorporate mindfulness to support your mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out!

Making Time for Breakfast

Breakfast is perhaps one of the most neglected meals of the day. Our mornings are spent in the chaos of alarm clocks, getting ready for work or school, and generally trying to avoid facing the day as much as possible.

There’s a saying that you should start the way you mean to go on. So, this post is about making a conscious decision as to how we mean to go on. We often focus on goals in the context of New Year’s resolutions, but you don’t have to wait for a special day each year to start something intentionally.

Treating each day as a new beginning can help us feel more hopeful and refreshed and create more opportunities for self-evaluation. Taking time, even a little time, to be intentionally present with ourselves in the morning can help us reduce burnout, improve our mood, and reduce anxiety about facing the day.

Breakfast helps get our metabolism going and gives us energy for our day. It can also help us be more conscious and intentional about our other food choices throughout the day and not have to rely on caffeine to trick ourselves into not noticing we’re hungry or tired. Breakfast is both a literal and a symbolic act of nourishing ourselves and a reminder to take time to be present with ourselves.

Here are some ideas for reclaiming your morning and your breakfast:

• Make breakfast non-negotiable, create opportunities to try new things, or decide on a go-to, easy balanced breakfast to make for the week. Prep ingredients the night before if needed.

• Commit to a meditation practice. Even if it’s only 5 minutes before you head out the door or get out of bed. Taking time to wake up to your day slowly can create a more intentional, less hectic flavor to your day.

• Read a physical book or magazine rather than scrolling on your phone or other device. Prioritizing the rest of the world over yourself first thing in the morning can increase stress levels and reduce our motivation and ability to tend to our own needs.

• Listen to music that is soothing or motivating first thing in the morning. Use this as an opportunity to dance around to something you enjoy.

• Move your body. Create a 10-15 minute stretching, walking, or yoga routine to get your blood flowing and stretch out your body after a night of sleep.

• Ditch your alarm clock. Here’s a confession: I absolutely hate alarm clocks. To me, they are the worst, most jarring way to wake up. Create a bedtime routine that allows you to wake up naturally around the same time every day. It may take a few weeks to fully adjust but trust me it’s worth it. If you absolutely need an alarm clock opt for one that wakes you up with light rather than sound. It may also be helpful to get an idea of how much sleep you naturally need and adjust your routine accordingly. Hint: most people vastly underestimate how much sleep they actually need to feel good.

• If you have a pet, make the first thing you do when you get up snuggling or playing with them. The resulting happy brain hormones make for an excellent reward.

Pick 1-2 things off this list to start off with. Mornings don’t have to be overwhelming. If you’d like additional support with developing better routines to support your mental health please don’t hesitate to reach out!

Unpacking Emotions

You are likely familiar with the terms “processing” or “unpacking” emotions if you’ve ever been to therapy, or possibly browsed inspirational posts on Instagram. These are terms we use and hear fairly often, but rarely do we get to really dive into what they mean.

Emotions are made up of different “parts” that come together to create a larger experience. For example: when we experience anger, the neurochemistry in our brains creates physical sensations such as muscle tension, increased blood flow, and changes in body temperature. We also experience thoughts related to the situation we are angry about; we might find ourselves ruminating about whatever caused us to get angry in the first place. We may also exhibit external behaviors such as pacing, yelling, etc.

When we “unpack” these emotions we need to look at each of the components to better understand the whole. In addition to examining the emotion in the moment, it can also be helpful to look at patterns. For example, when have you seen this emotion show up in other parts of your life. What did you learn about this emotion growing up in your family of origin? How have you handled this emotion in the past? What other emotions does this emotion bring up for you? (i.e. how do you feel about the fact that you feel angry). This requires us to cultivate what’s called an “observer mindset.”

Here’s a quick mindfulness practice to help you get started:

• Begin by finding a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Take a few deep inhales through your nose and out through your mouth. You want to feel your belly moving.

• Notice your body. Locate a space in your body that feels grounded, neutral, or calm. If this is hard to do, you might just focus on the cool air as you breathe in and the warm air as you breathe out.

• Now come back to the feeling you are trying to unpack. Notice where in your body you feel that. It might be in your chest, your throat, your shoulders or somewhere else.

• When you can connect with that physical sensation allow yourself to vacillate back and forth between the space that feels grounded and the space where you feel the emotion. The key here is to not try to change the emotion or physical sensation but just allow yourself to observe and describe what you notice happening.

• Stay here as long as you like. I recommend about 5-10 minutes. Once you’re done take some time to reflect on what you observed. Notice the thoughts, memories, and physical sensations that showed up.

As always, if you’re struggling and would like additional support please don’t hesitate to reach out!