Sensory self-soothing techniques

Our senses are an extremely important part of how we interact with the world. They help us relate to others and understand our environment. We can also use our senses to help soothe and regulate our emotional distress. From a developmental perspective, it makes sense that some of our most fundamental self-soothing mechanisms tend to be fairly primal; things like eating, eye contact, movement, and sound. When we soothe a crying baby we typically engage in rocking, cooing, or some other sensory stimulation to communicate safety to a baby’s limbic system. As adults, our brain’s self-soothing mechanisms are not all that different from a baby’s, we just have a wider repertoire of available behaviors.

If you struggle with anxiety, irritability, or depression you may want to try creating your own self-soothing kit. I usually recommend that it be something portable so you can move it around your space as needed. You can start with items that target each of your basic 5 senses: taste, touch, sound, sight, and smell. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Taste:

• Peppermints, breath mints, lemon drops, Jolly Ranchers, tea, or a small snack of your choice.

Touch:

• Fidget cubes, dryer balls, fuzzy or silky scarves, squishy toys, hacky sacks, textured stickers, worry stones, Play-Doh, and thera-putty.

Sound:

• Consider creating playlists based on your mood or of songs that remind you of a particular time in your life. This is a great opportunity to practice some mindful listening and notice how music affects your mood.

• Wind chimes, nature sounds, ambient noise from an open window, rain sounds, and forest sounds (if you want to get really fancy with the forest sounds, check out Tree.fm or timberfestival.org both of which compile recordings of forests from around the world).

• Bilateral music has also been shown to reduce anxiety and increase focus in deeper brain regions because of how it alternately stimulates sound in the left and right ears. You will need headphones for this to work. If you’re looking for a playlist, I recommend checking out David Grand on iTunes.

Sight:

• Consider collecting pictures that are meaningful to you; they might be of friends and family or even of your younger self. I personally enjoy fun art and pictures of my cat looking silly.

• You may also be mindful of your space in general and choose to fill it with interesting things to look at such as crystals, rocks, bits of amber, or plants. If you prefer a more minimal space, you might choose just one item to be the focal point and trade it out every few days or weeks.

• If you’re feeling particularly artistic you might try making a vision board or a collage to keep inspiration going in your space and help you visualize your goals.

Smell:

• Candles, lotions, and room sprays can be great options for a soothing scent. If you have a more sensitive nose I would recommend opting for milder scents or even creating your own room spray at home using an essential oil or some fresh or dried herbs.

• Keep a small container of your favorite spice on hand i.e. cinnamon, rosemary, cloves, bay leaves.

• Some stores will sell small roll-on versions of essential oil perfumes that are both portable and mild; just make sure you’re not allergic before applying.

Hopefully this gives you some ideas to get started with. If you’re feeling extra adventurous you might also try keeping a bubble solution on hand to make breath-based mindfulness more fun or take a gander at making your own glitter bottle or jar; because bubbles and glitter are fun for all ages in my opinion. Above all, remember to have fun with it!

An intro to mindfulness

There’s a pretty good chance that if you are a human being living in this world over the past few years you’ve heard a lot about mindfulness. You might have even tried an app like Calm or Headspace. You might have heard your friends, coworkers, or family members talk about meditating. So, what is the fuss all about?

Mindfulness is the practice of intentional, non-judgmental attunement, awareness, and attention to the present moment. It is a concept borrowed from Buddhist tradition, which has been used in a variety of clinical and therapeutic applications in the Western world since the 1970s. Notably, it is a major part of practices such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy. The theory is that if we can stay more present and attuned to our immediate experience in the moment we can develop an observer perspective around our emotions, thoughts, and actions which can allow us to reduce impulsivity and suffering. One of the core tenets of mindfulness practice is being able to accept pain as a part of life but acknowledging that we have control/choice over our suffering.

One of my favorite metaphors for this idea goes like this: Imagine that you are in the middle of a river and you are clinging to a rock. There is debris of all kinds going by and some of it is hitting you as you cling to the rock. Now, as you cling to this rock you might spend a lot of time worrying about what will happen if you let go or cursing the circumstances that got you to this rock in the first place. You might understandably be quite reluctant to let go of this rock. As you desperately float there, being pummeled by sticks and other bits of debris worrying about the future and regretting the past, you are stuck. This is suffering. Mindfulness is about acknowledging that you are clinging to this rock, radically accepting that you will have to let go of the rock to have any hope of getting out of the river, letting go of the judgement of yourself for having gotten stuck in the first place, and actually letting go so you can swim to the safety of the shore.

Mindfulness practices come in a variety of shapes and sizes. You might choose to meditate, you might choose to exercise, you might go for a walk, you might engage in art, dancing, reading, cooking, or making coffee. You might start with simply noticing how much of your day you spend in the seemingly productive, but ultimately frustrating and futile attempt to multitask. The wonderful thing about mindfulness is that there’s no wrong way to get started. It’s merely an invitation to notice and reflect on your observations without judgement.

If you’re looking for some easy practice ideas I recommend trying a guided meditation app. One of my favorites is Down Dog Meditation. You can also check out this book: Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations to Reduce Stress, Improve Mental Health, and Find Peace in the Everyday by Matthew Sockolov. Or you can check out this website for worksheets, guided meditations, and easy ways to get started: Mindfulness Exercises & Free Meditations | Mindfulness Exercises.

A caveat: meditation alone will not magically solve all your problems, cure an illness, or fix all your relationships. Mindfulness and meditation have been shown to change the ways in which our brain processes pain over time. It can allow us to shift our pain from going straight into suffering and pivot more into learning, curiosity, and compassion. I recommend starting with 10 minutes a day. And remember: there’s no wrong way to get started!